“Kendra, I am experiencing some serious FoMO,” my friend confessed. “I am seriously afraid of missing out.”
She began to explain how the stresses of work,
relationships, and needing more community couldn’t be more overwhelming. Being
a twenty-something felt so overrated. I couldn’t agree more. Over the last
couple years, I’d been riding the waves of sickness and heatbreak. FoMO – the
fear of missing an opportunity and having regrets – was no stranger.
We’ve all been there. Ever scrolled
through facebook on a bad day? Everyone’s life looks so much better. The
dogs are cuter, the babies don’t cry, the sport stadiums are brighter, and
look! two new engagements. Is everyone leaving us behind? And worse, our
friends are out enjoying a night on the town. We are most definitely missing
out.
Or perhaps you’re more familiar with FoMO’s cousin, YOLO (‘You
only live once’)! Now I’m all down for some spontaneous fro yo, but it’s a
delicate dance. We’ve all been swept up in the moment and thought later, WHAT
happened? Then we have to tighten our budgets, loosen our belts, or cover up
that butterfly tattoo or that hickey. It can make for some great stories and
laughs, but sometimes it can be devastating.
Around the time of this conversation, I lost my Ipod touch. This
made me acutely aware of my impulse to constantly be checking updates online. I
didn’t want to miss out on the dialogue, but the world kept buzzing on without
me. However, when I was forced to miss out, I became more available. I had a memorable
conversation with the woman bagging my groceries. I could simply watch the sun dipping
over Lake Washington. It was breathtaking, and it didn’t need to be everyone
else’s moment, just mine.
My friend and I began to realize that at the heart of FoMO
is some pretty crippling fear. The fear of being alone, unwanted, or
unrecognized. Shouldn’t we be entitled
to that vacation, that night out, that pay-raise, that relationship, that new
car, that _____ ?
FoMO, if left to its own devises, never allows you to see
what you already have.
At different times in my life, FoMO has tempted me to make
decisions I knew were only temporarily satisfying, because waiting for
something better is uncertain. I’ve also walked through days unknowingly
clouded by jealousy and disappointment.
Sometimes, life just sucks. Sickness, loosing a great job, a
dream, or someone you love can make FoMO seem inevitable. But every time I’ve
stopped to name what I’m thankful for, these blessings exceed every fear, every
disaster, every heartbreak.
My ultimate solution is to stop focusing on myself and look
to Jesus.
17 The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
-Zephaniah 3:17, ESV
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.
-1st John 4:18, NIV
Then the buzz of FoMO disappears. Instead, there is peace. I
remember that God wants me right here, right where I am in the midst of
frustrating circumstances.
My wise friend said, “I think the original sin was because
of FoMO.” If you’re a Christian, you believe this— that since the beginning of
humanity, we naturally choose our own way over God’s best way…because we are
afraid of missing out.
But you see, FoMO is an illusion. A trick.
In actuality, I’m not defined by how exciting or good my
life is, but by God’s love for me. Whether rich or poor, sick or healthy, I am
loved and have the opportunity to love others. I trust that God is working out all circumstances for good. This is the ultimate peace and
satisfaction. Even if I made it to every social event, had the best loving
relationships, a dog that didn’t poop, a millionaire’s budget, and lungs like
Lance Armstrong’s, these blessings would dim in comparison with simply being
with Jesus. I’ll take him any day over FoMO.
